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Balancing Busy Schedules and Family Meals

If you want to see a family's values spelled out in black and white, take a look at their schedule. Whether it's electronically organized, or scrawled on notes on the refrigerator door, the way we plan our time lets us know who we are.

Which commitments are unchanging? Which can be squeezed in if there is a little extra time? Which never seem to happen?

The good news is that, no matter how pressured you feel, if you are aware of what you value, you can make some headway against the almighty calendar and clock.

If you think about all the good things that come from that simple nightly get-together, it's easier to arrange your schedule to make sure it happens.

Let your family know that they are expected to eat together at a regular time. When you are making commitments for extra curricular activities, ask yourself if it's something that you and your kids really need. Speak up when school or meeting schedules conflict with mealtimes. Other people have families too, and they will often appreciate your taking the initiative. A recent study showed that, for people who worked long hours, those who had time for regular family meals felt better about their jobs and their families. It's not just kids who benefit. You will feel better too.

And don't worry about having to do it the "right" way. Mealtimes can be leisurely some days and brief at other times. Schedules can be flexible. Only you can set the expectations that are appropriate for your family, finding a balance between iron-clad and anything goes.

Balance is so important. It helps us feel as if the various parts of our life are more under control. So have a look at your schedule. Then get out your marker, or start tapping on your keyboard. Remember what's important, and then act as if it is.

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